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My Holiday To Gran Canaria: Part 1

My Holiday To Gran Canaria: Part 1

Well, hello there. It's been a while, eh? You may have noticed I'm not the most organised of people, which is why nothing was scheduled ahead of time for my holiday. Oh well, I'm sure my absence has made your hearts grow marginally fonder.

On the plane out and I can't look like an adult...

On the plane out and I can't look like an adult...

On Thursday morning (very early hours) I returned from my very first girls holiday to the very touristy part of Gran Canaria - Playa del Inglés. Not that touristy is necessarily a bad thing, let's just say we weren't looking to discover any local hidden gems. Bex, Amy and Jo were my partners in crime and I had a brilliant time. It was a fantastic week that got a bit rowdy but none of us are exactly party animals so I only had a horrendous hangover once (and we'll cover more of that later). The holiday was to celebrate the 30th of my friend and derby wife, Bex. It was also the start of 2 weeks of Pride celebrations that they have twice a year. 

We kicked off the holiday with some sunbathing where I burnt my back with an amazing criss-cross of bikini straps - turns out that someone as pale as me really does have to wear factor 50 for their own safety. This has now turned into a minimal tan and a shitload of freckles. At least freckles are cute, I suppose.

That night we dressed up as Bex Bruisers Roller Girls and hit the Pride celebrations at Yumbo. I'd love to tell you more, but beyond that it's all a haze. Turns out the drinks were really fricking strong and we drank them waaaaaaaaaay too fast. The night decended into derby hip checks, slut dropping and general drunken madness.

That first night we had a wild time and the little I can remember makes me smile. Earlier in the day, in anticipation of a great night, we booked to go on a Gay and Lesbian Boat Party the next day. Well, that was a mistake.

The boat party itself was abysmally organised and we actually spent more time waiting to get on it than we did on the boat. Then the "unlimited" drinks ran out about half way through and the "unlimited" food as plain chicken, salad and some potatoes. I'd like to comment more on the food but I felt so sick from my hangover that I couldn't eat. And that was just the logistics.

The mix of people on board was so weird. It was meant, as far as we knew, to be LGBT. It turns out it was full of vapid, straight "party people", and the majority of them had been sold it as a regular boat party. That pissed me off somewhat, as what was meant to be a fun, gay space became straight people central. It was awkward. It was boring. It was NOT the Gay and Lesbian Boat Party we'd been sold.

Oh yeah, and it turns out that men can still be staring, inappropriate creeps on boats too, as one of our little group found out. That, I think, was the icing on the cake of the most spectacularly failed boat party I've ever experienced. Well, it's my first but I think I've been put off for life. That said, it is actually reasonably funny and we made the best of a pretty crap situation - Bex, Amy and Jo can probably make anything fun.

A terrible trip but we can make it look fun anyway.

A terrible trip but we can make it look fun anyway.

After that we had a day or two of relaxing, shopping and eating. It was nearly unbearably hot and I seriously question how people survive going on holiday there in the middle of the summer. Surely it gets to the point where it's not even nice anymore?

Anyway, a few days in we waved off Jo and made the decision to take a few road trips. Turns out that Gran Canaria is beaches surrounding some bloody massive mountains. This, it turns out, makes the roads terrifying. Seriously, I made peace with my own death while sat in the back of a hire car. That's no comment on Amy's driving, that's just the fear the steep cliffs, bottle neck roads and local drivers gave me.

The first road trip took us to San Mateo and the Caldera del Bandama. We were looking for a market in San Mateo but went on the wrong day. Instead we went into the local food market and bought the best lunch in the world. After that, I navigated us down some terrifying roads to the Caldera del Bandama, which is an extinct volcano where the top collapsed into itself, leaving an amazing crater and beautiful views.

And in the beautiful San Mateo is where I shall leave you. We did so much on this holiday that I'm splitting it between two posts. This is because I'm filling it with a smidge of the photos taken by pretty much everyone but me. Next time I'll cover Roque Nublo, which was the most amazing trip we did an I want to convince you to go, and our second, very manic night out.

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